Folks, I’m working as hard as I can to get the post that was supposed to be published today up and done with, but it’s late and I just lost a good chunk (read the end of) my post to an internet crash. It seems like a small thing, but I’ve already braved headache, fatigue and writer’s block to get this done and losing half my hard work was really the final straw. I’m fighting angry, toddler-esque tears. So I’m going to quickly write up another obligation post that occurred to me today, and then I’m going to bed.
I know I never really wrote a post outlining my trip, so saying that my plans have changed probably isn’t going to mean much to most of you. But for those of you who did know my plans and are wondering why the heck I’m still in Germany, the explanation’s coming. For those of you who didn’t, here:
When I started out on this jaunt the plan (as much as it can be called that, vague as it was) was to spend two months (January- February) in Lennoxville, Quebec; followed by a week or so sightseeing in the UK; then six weeks to two months in Ludwigsburg, Germany (March- April) washed down with a ten day blitz through Western Europe and finished with just shy of three months spent farming in central Japan (that brings us to the end of August). The dream was to gain some slipshod conversational fluency in the three languages I studied in school (French, German, Japanese). So much for that.
The revised plan has me staying in Germany until the second week in June and heading back to good old British Columbia for the summer, where, God and humans willing, I’ll be working at a summer camp until school starts in the fall. It turns out my German needs a lot more work than I thought it did, and that I’m just too tired to keep going. I have three weeks left here in Germany and already I can’t wait to be home. My medical problems are piling up on me, my back hurts and my chronic headaches, despite medication and meditation, are persistent and brutal. I’m finished.
But that doesn’t mean that I’m not excited about all that has happened so far and all that the future holds. Giving up going to Japan, though it’s been a long-term dream, was a well thought out, seriously considered choice. And I haven’t completely given up- I’m still planning to go in the future. I’m just not ready to go there now. I have enough to work on with German to keep me busy for a while, and as I mentioned before, I’m ready to go home. Yet I do not go home defeated. I’m heading to camp because I honestly believe it’s where I’m meant to be this summer. Long before my plans changed I felt my heart drawing me back in that direction, and worked to weasel out a way to spend two, three weeks at the end of summer there. I can confidently say that I made the right choice in deciding to spend the whole summer at camp instead, and even more confidently that I made the right choice by staying in Germany. When the time comes to go to Japan, I know that it will be the right thing too.
Aside from that, the previous (rough) posting schedule still applies. Thanks for your time and interest.